Kazakh Wedding: A bit of history

Marriage:
1. Kazakh girls used to be married young in arranged marriages. About 10-15 years ago most girls married between 18 and 21 years old and parents seldom choose the partners (but now situation in the cities is different – girls marry between 23 and 25 years old). When the youngest son marries, he inherits the family home and takes care of his parents. His wife is under the authority of her mother-in-law and takes on all household duties. Bride stealing still takes place (usually with girl‘s consent, in order to avoid huge expenses for wedding process; but generally by car instead of on horseback as it used to be). Divorce is on the increase. Men usually remarry, but a divorced woman is ‘undesirable’. She usually goes back to live with her parents, but is seldom well received.
For many centuries, the strict laws of the steppes prohibited open dating between young men and women. This is why the rituals of the marriage proposal and wedding appeared. For instance, a young man could not propose to his beloved himself; instead, he would ask the wife of his elder brother (or any woman from relatives) to do so.
By no means does that imply that there were no romantic relationships between the loved ones. If they were not able to see each other secretly, the girl would send her kerchiefs with specific ornaments and the young man would decode the message.
Sometimes it is the bride who has the right to choose to accept the offer. Instead of direct refusal, the girl would give man some difficult and almost unrealizable task. A legend tells about such a case. Abylai Khan fell in love with a beautiful girl from a poor family. But she already had her intended - an ordinary warrior. As to not hurt Abylai Khan's feelings and bring his anger on her family, the girl requested Khan shoot an arrow beyond the mountain near a lake. The girl went to a rock in the middle of the lake to watch the competition. However hard Khan tried to shoot the arrow high in the sky, it would not rise beyond the mountain. Since then, the mountain is called Okzhetpes, which means "unachievable with an arrow". The girl had decided that if Khan fulfilled her task, she would jump from the rocky island onto the stones protruding out of the water. That is why the lake is called Zhumbaktas, which means "a riddle-stone". Kaz Volunteers love to visit this place not far from Kokshetau (North Kazakhstan).
The nomadic culture favored arranged marriages, in which the parents of the bride made the decision. It was thought that their wisdom and experience of life would help them to make the right choice for their daughter. Sometimes, the bride did not even know her groom, although their parents may have been friends. Nowadays, beliefs have changed radically, but rituals and ceremonies like weddings and matchmaking have survived.
2. Then they fix the wedding day. Once the last stage before the wedding had been arranged, none of the parties could break the engagement. The aul aksakals (―white beards‖) blessed young people and appointed the exact day of wedding.
3. The groom‟s family covers all the expenses for the wedding. A week before the groom‘s household hosts “Maslihat Shay” (Council Tea), where relatives and friends, instrumental in the process come it to discuss the details and the guest list. Kazakh weddings are very particular about the guest list, since no one must be omitted. The wedding is always very big and all relatives and friends are invited. In villages the whole dwellings tend to participate in the process. The quantity of guest in a city style wedding usually depends of the depth of family budget since a restaurant is used to host the event. Never the less the common head count tends to be 80 to 500 guests. Amantai‘s sons wedding, for example, had 156 guests.
4. The bride's girl-friends gather at night before wedding. The maiden sit-round gathering last till the very morning. This time they prepare for wedding: baursaks, flat cakes, various sweets are baked, they cut the ram, kuyrdak is prepared. Alo maden sing a song-weeping ―syn-soo‖ (―Now you will not see your home and relatives for a while‖), since in the old times the young girls would be married to the men from different village.
5. Next morning the groom's relatives drop in at the house of the bride, but she is in the next
house (apartment, jurt) at that time. Tables are covered in a court yard for neighbors. Then the bride is entered under singing in a court yard of a house. Ahead of procession - one of the bride's relatives. The bride's native brother (or other male relative) ties a belt of the bride with a scarf in order she would be the true and obedient wife to the husband and polite daughter to his parents. They take away the bride after she says goodbye to her parents.
6. After this the close relatives from both sides, groom and the bride, with her face covered, are going to the mosque to get blessing from mullah. The mullah asks them to stay in the middle, puts a cup with the water in front of them having covered it with a cloth. He reads a prayer from Koran and then asks them whether they go into the marriage willingly or not. Three times they are given to drink the water; at last, he gives it to those standing ahead to drink. Some mullahs put into the water an arrow with hairs of the mane of the groom's horse bound to it by a ribbon of the bride, others instead of that immerse in water prayers written on a paper.
7. After visiting the mosque, the groom and bride, and all interested, go to ―civilian registry office‖ where the official (state recognized) part of the ceremony takes place. The face of the bride at that time remains covered.
8. Since the wedding feast begins at five or six in the evening and the registration is finished by 2:00 p.m., the newlyweds and those who choose to endure a little pilgrimage or a journey around town to visit the most exciting plac es. In Almaty the procession will undoubtedly visit Medeo, and the WWII monument in the park of Panfilov Fighters. There they will lay the flowers as a remembrance of those who fought for the freedom that the people now enjoy. It is a rather strict tradition so there are always flowers at the monument any given Saturday. (In Kazakhstan almost every family has relatives who fought in the Great Patriotic War)
9. The wedding follows. The bride appears in from of the guests with a covered face. The ―betashar‖ ceremony of revealing the face begins. Nowadays this ceremony is just a beautiful tradition. In the past, however, it was of major significance. In most cases, it was the first time the groom saw the bride. The akyn (bard), a master of ceremonies, introduces the beautifully dressed bride, with her face veiled, to the groom and the wedding guests. It is praising the girl's beauty and character and giving her advice for her married life. The song makes you believe the bride is an angel in person in the flesh. During the song she makes acquaintance with her new relatives in turn, giving a bow to everyone. She manages to bow in proper places all the time. After the song the master of ceremony raises (by the finger board of dombra with owls‟ fethers) the veil for everybody to see the girl's face. It must have been a very big privilege, as the bridegroom's relatives had to pay money (usually big amount) - "korimdik" after it. All the money is placed on a large platter, sitting in a visible location. Once everyone has paid to see the brides face the master of ceremonies takes away the platter (with money, of course) which becomes his fee.
10. Then there is a ceremony younger kids liked, "shashu", when sweets and small money are thrown all around. It means the future life of the couple should be sweet and rich.
11. The song "Zhar-zhar" invites the wedded ones to the table. Two choirs-a male and a female ones, wished them love and accordance, and all the luck, performing their song like a game of questions and answers. Then it is time for the dinner. It is also announced by a song, "Toi bastar" (holiday beginning). Some akyns sing it all by themselves, with the accompaniment of the dombra, and very beautifully. The dinner is like a b-i – g dinner. The parents of the bride are served "kuiryk bauyr", made from special meat and symbolizing the new relationship set forever. Everybody are feeling quite family-like by the time. Besbarmak (that means ―five fingers‖, and it is usually was eaten by hands), the traditional Kazakh food, is of course also eaten in huge amounts.
12. Beshbarmak
Beshbarmak is usually prepared from fatty lamb, peaces of smoked horsemeat and horsemeat products like sausage. The meat is boiled separately from the finely rolled out slabs of dough. The ready meat is placed on the dough and cured with special spice mixture – ―tuzdyk‖. According to custom the dish is served on a special platter – tabak. ―Bas-tabak‖ is placed in front of the most honored guests. It includes a sheep‘s head, jambas, peaces of smoked horsemeat and other select peaces. The grooms parents, in advance decide who is the most important guest who will be portioning out important parts of sheep‘s head. The secret of dividing the head is in the traditional wishes. Thus the palate is given to a person along with a wish to be wise and well spoken, larynx for good voice and ability to sing, skin from the forehead for being first among equals. Young men are treated with ears for them to be attentive, girls - with a palate (it is believed that this would make them more diligent).
The head having been divided the host proceeds with cutting meat on the main dish and shares it with his guests.
Here too one has to mind certain habits and superstitions. For instance, hipbones and crus are offered to most honored guests while the breastbone goes to the son-in-law or daughter-in-law, vertebra - to married women, pregnant ones first and foremost.
Children may not be offered brains (they might become weak-willed), just as an elbow bone - to a young girl (she might be "left on the shelf")...
13. The wedding program includes many activities to entertain the guests. The most popular of these are games designed to demonstrate strength, adroitness and shrewdness. In the rural area the young ones frequently participate in horse races (baiga) and wrestling (kures). The winners are awarded valuable prizes. Music and oral improvisations accompany the celebration to make the event more memorable.
14. That wedding also comes to an end, but it is completely not main custom of celebrating, each wedding has the specific features depending on conditions of this or that district.
15. After the departure of guests the bride has to serve tea to her new family.
16. On the next day after the wedding, parents of the young husband invite over the parents and relatives of the bride. This custom is called ―Kudasyi‖. The group usually includes twenty to forty people, and the bride gives in advance their age and status within family hierarchy. Every guest, including young children is given a precious gift, and women commonly receive golden jewelry.
17. Some time after the wedding, bride‘s family invites parents and relatives of the groom who are expected to arrive bearing gifts as well.
18. Wedding dress
Kazakh bride wears a white long silk dress embroidered with gold or silver. Red velvet beshmet (vest) is worn on top of the dress. Its sleeves and the front are decorated with similar embroidery and ornament. The dress and beshmet together with saukele (hat) make up a beautiful ensemble homogeneous in artistic style. Saukele is high, cone-shaped red velvet hat decorated with precious stones, corrals, and zhaktau (pendants). The number of zhaktau determined the social status of a bride. Some saukele were made by craftsman in a span of a year.
The name "saukele" has an Iranian origin "kulokh" - hat, which goes back to the period of saks (V-VI centuries A. D.), who played a significant role in the enthogenesis of the Kazakh nation.
They were especially beautiful till the end of the 19th c, and some cost as much as 100 fine horses.
They have metallic open work, a diadem (sometimes it was made of gold with inlay of semi-precious stones or coral and pearl beading and so on), pendants hanging from the temple, and chin adornments. A fabric was used to cover the body of the saukele; on that fabric metallic plates of different configurations were attached. In the jacks of these plates precious and semi-precious stones were inlaid. The nape part of the ancient saukele was decorated with a sculptured image of a fish head, a symbol of well-being. A wide band of expensive fabric, with a brocade of gold threads sewn on it, was hung on the nape. The most skilful cutters, embroiderers (women), and jewellers, who used moulding, engravement, stamping, filigree and so on took part in manufacturing of the saukele. To make such a head gown took a whole year or more. Many saukeles are kept in Omsk museums, the museum of Tatarstan (Kazan'), Kasteev memorial museum (Almaty) and others. At present the saukile is not worn unlike other traditional costumes.
19. After the wedding, of course, come the children. Now you will have the opportunity to see a traditional Kazakh crib – ―Besik‖ which is still widely used to this day.
Kazahk Besik is a small wooden bed that can hold a child as young a year and a half. It is constructed in such a way that one can carry in on the back which proved to be important in the ancient times of nomadic steppe riders.
Many modern doctors are opposed of Besik, since the baby becomes immobilized, but Kazakh mothers, however, feel that there is nothing more comfortable and hygienically acceptable.
In besik, the baby lies on its back. A circular hole is located under its bottom which becomes
kind of a toilet, for the baby. Baby is dressed in a short-cloth as its hands are firmly tied with some cloth. The lower part of baby‘s body is in a diaper with a hole on the bottom. The trick of Besik is in that particular feature, the baby does not ever need pampers or anything of the sort since it is always clean and dry. It must be hard to imagine this outlandish apparatus.
So you know that baby is on its back with its bottom level with a hole in the crib and diaper. Under the crib a jar is attached to collect the out-coming. So the number two problem is solved, the baby defecates straight in the jar.
Naturally the second question arises since the baby lies on its back. You will never guess the approach to solving the number one problem. The reproductive organ is attached to a straw, just like one for cocktails, but this one is a bit shorter, wider, and is made out of a cleaned, hollowed out and carefully filed sheep‘s bone. This particular bone, just like a hose is the solution for number one problem.
You don‘t even have to worry about baby moving and the attachments detaching because the legs are firmly tied together. Thus the baby looks like a cocoon.
Don‘t think for a moment that the baby is not bathed. It is bathed, daily and this process has its on traditional custom. It is a three-day cycle. Day one is a soap bath. Day two is a salt bath for stronger bones. Day three is a potassium permanganate bath. Kazakhs even have a saying for a person with a broken or fractured bone: ―you must not had enough salt baths.
Information Provided By Peace Corps Kazakhstan
1. Kazakh girls used to be married young in arranged marriages. About 10-15 years ago most girls married between 18 and 21 years old and parents seldom choose the partners (but now situation in the cities is different – girls marry between 23 and 25 years old). When the youngest son marries, he inherits the family home and takes care of his parents. His wife is under the authority of her mother-in-law and takes on all household duties. Bride stealing still takes place (usually with girl‘s consent, in order to avoid huge expenses for wedding process; but generally by car instead of on horseback as it used to be). Divorce is on the increase. Men usually remarry, but a divorced woman is ‘undesirable’. She usually goes back to live with her parents, but is seldom well received.
For many centuries, the strict laws of the steppes prohibited open dating between young men and women. This is why the rituals of the marriage proposal and wedding appeared. For instance, a young man could not propose to his beloved himself; instead, he would ask the wife of his elder brother (or any woman from relatives) to do so.
By no means does that imply that there were no romantic relationships between the loved ones. If they were not able to see each other secretly, the girl would send her kerchiefs with specific ornaments and the young man would decode the message.
Sometimes it is the bride who has the right to choose to accept the offer. Instead of direct refusal, the girl would give man some difficult and almost unrealizable task. A legend tells about such a case. Abylai Khan fell in love with a beautiful girl from a poor family. But she already had her intended - an ordinary warrior. As to not hurt Abylai Khan's feelings and bring his anger on her family, the girl requested Khan shoot an arrow beyond the mountain near a lake. The girl went to a rock in the middle of the lake to watch the competition. However hard Khan tried to shoot the arrow high in the sky, it would not rise beyond the mountain. Since then, the mountain is called Okzhetpes, which means "unachievable with an arrow". The girl had decided that if Khan fulfilled her task, she would jump from the rocky island onto the stones protruding out of the water. That is why the lake is called Zhumbaktas, which means "a riddle-stone". Kaz Volunteers love to visit this place not far from Kokshetau (North Kazakhstan).
The nomadic culture favored arranged marriages, in which the parents of the bride made the decision. It was thought that their wisdom and experience of life would help them to make the right choice for their daughter. Sometimes, the bride did not even know her groom, although their parents may have been friends. Nowadays, beliefs have changed radically, but rituals and ceremonies like weddings and matchmaking have survived.
2. Then they fix the wedding day. Once the last stage before the wedding had been arranged, none of the parties could break the engagement. The aul aksakals (―white beards‖) blessed young people and appointed the exact day of wedding.
3. The groom‟s family covers all the expenses for the wedding. A week before the groom‘s household hosts “Maslihat Shay” (Council Tea), where relatives and friends, instrumental in the process come it to discuss the details and the guest list. Kazakh weddings are very particular about the guest list, since no one must be omitted. The wedding is always very big and all relatives and friends are invited. In villages the whole dwellings tend to participate in the process. The quantity of guest in a city style wedding usually depends of the depth of family budget since a restaurant is used to host the event. Never the less the common head count tends to be 80 to 500 guests. Amantai‘s sons wedding, for example, had 156 guests.
4. The bride's girl-friends gather at night before wedding. The maiden sit-round gathering last till the very morning. This time they prepare for wedding: baursaks, flat cakes, various sweets are baked, they cut the ram, kuyrdak is prepared. Alo maden sing a song-weeping ―syn-soo‖ (―Now you will not see your home and relatives for a while‖), since in the old times the young girls would be married to the men from different village.
5. Next morning the groom's relatives drop in at the house of the bride, but she is in the next
house (apartment, jurt) at that time. Tables are covered in a court yard for neighbors. Then the bride is entered under singing in a court yard of a house. Ahead of procession - one of the bride's relatives. The bride's native brother (or other male relative) ties a belt of the bride with a scarf in order she would be the true and obedient wife to the husband and polite daughter to his parents. They take away the bride after she says goodbye to her parents.
6. After this the close relatives from both sides, groom and the bride, with her face covered, are going to the mosque to get blessing from mullah. The mullah asks them to stay in the middle, puts a cup with the water in front of them having covered it with a cloth. He reads a prayer from Koran and then asks them whether they go into the marriage willingly or not. Three times they are given to drink the water; at last, he gives it to those standing ahead to drink. Some mullahs put into the water an arrow with hairs of the mane of the groom's horse bound to it by a ribbon of the bride, others instead of that immerse in water prayers written on a paper.
7. After visiting the mosque, the groom and bride, and all interested, go to ―civilian registry office‖ where the official (state recognized) part of the ceremony takes place. The face of the bride at that time remains covered.
8. Since the wedding feast begins at five or six in the evening and the registration is finished by 2:00 p.m., the newlyweds and those who choose to endure a little pilgrimage or a journey around town to visit the most exciting plac es. In Almaty the procession will undoubtedly visit Medeo, and the WWII monument in the park of Panfilov Fighters. There they will lay the flowers as a remembrance of those who fought for the freedom that the people now enjoy. It is a rather strict tradition so there are always flowers at the monument any given Saturday. (In Kazakhstan almost every family has relatives who fought in the Great Patriotic War)
9. The wedding follows. The bride appears in from of the guests with a covered face. The ―betashar‖ ceremony of revealing the face begins. Nowadays this ceremony is just a beautiful tradition. In the past, however, it was of major significance. In most cases, it was the first time the groom saw the bride. The akyn (bard), a master of ceremonies, introduces the beautifully dressed bride, with her face veiled, to the groom and the wedding guests. It is praising the girl's beauty and character and giving her advice for her married life. The song makes you believe the bride is an angel in person in the flesh. During the song she makes acquaintance with her new relatives in turn, giving a bow to everyone. She manages to bow in proper places all the time. After the song the master of ceremony raises (by the finger board of dombra with owls‟ fethers) the veil for everybody to see the girl's face. It must have been a very big privilege, as the bridegroom's relatives had to pay money (usually big amount) - "korimdik" after it. All the money is placed on a large platter, sitting in a visible location. Once everyone has paid to see the brides face the master of ceremonies takes away the platter (with money, of course) which becomes his fee.
10. Then there is a ceremony younger kids liked, "shashu", when sweets and small money are thrown all around. It means the future life of the couple should be sweet and rich.
11. The song "Zhar-zhar" invites the wedded ones to the table. Two choirs-a male and a female ones, wished them love and accordance, and all the luck, performing their song like a game of questions and answers. Then it is time for the dinner. It is also announced by a song, "Toi bastar" (holiday beginning). Some akyns sing it all by themselves, with the accompaniment of the dombra, and very beautifully. The dinner is like a b-i – g dinner. The parents of the bride are served "kuiryk bauyr", made from special meat and symbolizing the new relationship set forever. Everybody are feeling quite family-like by the time. Besbarmak (that means ―five fingers‖, and it is usually was eaten by hands), the traditional Kazakh food, is of course also eaten in huge amounts.
12. Beshbarmak
Beshbarmak is usually prepared from fatty lamb, peaces of smoked horsemeat and horsemeat products like sausage. The meat is boiled separately from the finely rolled out slabs of dough. The ready meat is placed on the dough and cured with special spice mixture – ―tuzdyk‖. According to custom the dish is served on a special platter – tabak. ―Bas-tabak‖ is placed in front of the most honored guests. It includes a sheep‘s head, jambas, peaces of smoked horsemeat and other select peaces. The grooms parents, in advance decide who is the most important guest who will be portioning out important parts of sheep‘s head. The secret of dividing the head is in the traditional wishes. Thus the palate is given to a person along with a wish to be wise and well spoken, larynx for good voice and ability to sing, skin from the forehead for being first among equals. Young men are treated with ears for them to be attentive, girls - with a palate (it is believed that this would make them more diligent).
The head having been divided the host proceeds with cutting meat on the main dish and shares it with his guests.
Here too one has to mind certain habits and superstitions. For instance, hipbones and crus are offered to most honored guests while the breastbone goes to the son-in-law or daughter-in-law, vertebra - to married women, pregnant ones first and foremost.
Children may not be offered brains (they might become weak-willed), just as an elbow bone - to a young girl (she might be "left on the shelf")...
13. The wedding program includes many activities to entertain the guests. The most popular of these are games designed to demonstrate strength, adroitness and shrewdness. In the rural area the young ones frequently participate in horse races (baiga) and wrestling (kures). The winners are awarded valuable prizes. Music and oral improvisations accompany the celebration to make the event more memorable.
14. That wedding also comes to an end, but it is completely not main custom of celebrating, each wedding has the specific features depending on conditions of this or that district.
15. After the departure of guests the bride has to serve tea to her new family.
16. On the next day after the wedding, parents of the young husband invite over the parents and relatives of the bride. This custom is called ―Kudasyi‖. The group usually includes twenty to forty people, and the bride gives in advance their age and status within family hierarchy. Every guest, including young children is given a precious gift, and women commonly receive golden jewelry.
17. Some time after the wedding, bride‘s family invites parents and relatives of the groom who are expected to arrive bearing gifts as well.
18. Wedding dress
Kazakh bride wears a white long silk dress embroidered with gold or silver. Red velvet beshmet (vest) is worn on top of the dress. Its sleeves and the front are decorated with similar embroidery and ornament. The dress and beshmet together with saukele (hat) make up a beautiful ensemble homogeneous in artistic style. Saukele is high, cone-shaped red velvet hat decorated with precious stones, corrals, and zhaktau (pendants). The number of zhaktau determined the social status of a bride. Some saukele were made by craftsman in a span of a year.
The name "saukele" has an Iranian origin "kulokh" - hat, which goes back to the period of saks (V-VI centuries A. D.), who played a significant role in the enthogenesis of the Kazakh nation.
They were especially beautiful till the end of the 19th c, and some cost as much as 100 fine horses.
They have metallic open work, a diadem (sometimes it was made of gold with inlay of semi-precious stones or coral and pearl beading and so on), pendants hanging from the temple, and chin adornments. A fabric was used to cover the body of the saukele; on that fabric metallic plates of different configurations were attached. In the jacks of these plates precious and semi-precious stones were inlaid. The nape part of the ancient saukele was decorated with a sculptured image of a fish head, a symbol of well-being. A wide band of expensive fabric, with a brocade of gold threads sewn on it, was hung on the nape. The most skilful cutters, embroiderers (women), and jewellers, who used moulding, engravement, stamping, filigree and so on took part in manufacturing of the saukele. To make such a head gown took a whole year or more. Many saukeles are kept in Omsk museums, the museum of Tatarstan (Kazan'), Kasteev memorial museum (Almaty) and others. At present the saukile is not worn unlike other traditional costumes.
19. After the wedding, of course, come the children. Now you will have the opportunity to see a traditional Kazakh crib – ―Besik‖ which is still widely used to this day.
Kazahk Besik is a small wooden bed that can hold a child as young a year and a half. It is constructed in such a way that one can carry in on the back which proved to be important in the ancient times of nomadic steppe riders.
Many modern doctors are opposed of Besik, since the baby becomes immobilized, but Kazakh mothers, however, feel that there is nothing more comfortable and hygienically acceptable.
In besik, the baby lies on its back. A circular hole is located under its bottom which becomes
kind of a toilet, for the baby. Baby is dressed in a short-cloth as its hands are firmly tied with some cloth. The lower part of baby‘s body is in a diaper with a hole on the bottom. The trick of Besik is in that particular feature, the baby does not ever need pampers or anything of the sort since it is always clean and dry. It must be hard to imagine this outlandish apparatus.
So you know that baby is on its back with its bottom level with a hole in the crib and diaper. Under the crib a jar is attached to collect the out-coming. So the number two problem is solved, the baby defecates straight in the jar.
Naturally the second question arises since the baby lies on its back. You will never guess the approach to solving the number one problem. The reproductive organ is attached to a straw, just like one for cocktails, but this one is a bit shorter, wider, and is made out of a cleaned, hollowed out and carefully filed sheep‘s bone. This particular bone, just like a hose is the solution for number one problem.
You don‘t even have to worry about baby moving and the attachments detaching because the legs are firmly tied together. Thus the baby looks like a cocoon.
Don‘t think for a moment that the baby is not bathed. It is bathed, daily and this process has its on traditional custom. It is a three-day cycle. Day one is a soap bath. Day two is a salt bath for stronger bones. Day three is a potassium permanganate bath. Kazakhs even have a saying for a person with a broken or fractured bone: ―you must not had enough salt baths.
Information Provided By Peace Corps Kazakhstan